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Saturday 19 December 2015

How Well Do You Know...Who Said What?

How Well Do You Know...Who Said What?
Which royal person said the following (these are not confined to the Victorian era):
1. Although I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, I have the heart and stomach of a King.
2. We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist.
3. The highest of distinctions is service to others.
4. I have no objection whatsoever to the notion of the Eternal Father, but every objection to the concept of an eternal mother.
5. Bugger Bognor!
6. My whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great Imperial family to which we all belong.
7. (Referring to smoking) A custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black, stinking fume thereof, nearest resembling the horrible Stygian smoke of the pit that is bottomless.
8. (Referring to his wedding) We're supposed to have just a small family affair.
9. I’d like to go to Russia very much – although the bastards murdered half my family.
10. Now for a nice English cup of tea.
11. (On his deathbed, to his son) Witness how a Catholic and an Emperor conducts himself when dying.
12. (On the assassination of his nephew) One has not to defy the Almighty. In this manner a superior power has restored that order which I unfortunately was unable to maintain

How Well Do You Know...19th/early 20th Century Royal Humour?
1. When, according to her granddaughter, Alice of Albany, did Queen Victoria say, “We are not amused”?
She never said it!
2. How did the Kaiser offend Ferdinand of Bulgaria in what he viewed as a light-hearted prank?
He smacked him on the bottom.
3. What creature did Waldemar of Prussia release under his grandmother’s desk?
A live crocodile
4. When a young Prince Albert put cheese into the pockets of a visiting lady, how did she take her revenge?
She put frogs in his bed.
5. What did Lily Langtry playfully pour over Edward VII, causing him great offence?
Ice cream
6. As a punishment for what prank were Vicky and Alice forced to apologise to a maid and to buy her a new set of clothes?
They covered her in black-leading.
7. What did George and Eddy of Wales do when Queen Victoria chastised them for their appalling behaviour at dinner?
They jumped out from under the table stark naked and ran around the room like Red Indians.
8. What did Queen Victoria say when a lady presented her with an ostrich egg on which she had painted her name?
“You would think she had laid it herself!”
9. What prank a young Prince Albert and his companion play on the crowds who were waiting to greet their carriage?
They crouched down so only his greyhound, Eos, was visible in the carriage.
10. How did Franz Ferdinand’s parrot create a good deal of laughter when it escaped to a nearby park?
It did a perfect impression of Franz Ferdinand criticising all his relations.
11. How, much to Queen Victoria’s amusement, did an elderly and deaf admiral respond when she asked how his sister was?
“She’ll be fine when we turn her over and scrape the barnacles off her bottom!” (He thought she was referring to a sunken ship.
12. What, much to the amusement of the court, did a tall and powerful African chief ask for when Queen Victoria invited him to choose a gift?
Her little white widow’s cap...which he and subsequent chiefs then wore as a sign of being a great leader!

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